Here we go again...

It's official, I am now on birth control pills as the start to our next IVF.

With Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's the time is going to go by so fast. I'm actually really excited about it right now and very hopeful that a fresh transfer will give us the family we've waited so long for.

So close, yet still so far away.

I really thought this was going to be our lucky month. My cycle was 32 days long and I was about 18 days past ovulation. I was so bloated my jeans wouldn't zip and for the last two days I was having to go to the bathroom quite frequently. I took a home pregnancy test Monday morning and it came back negative. I was shocked, I was so sure this was it. Craig suggested I call the doctor, so I did and they wanted me to have a blood test done, which came back negative as well. Then the old hag showed her ugly face. I really hate it when mother nature plays tricks on me, and this one was especially cruel.

I do have good news though. We are all set for our next IVF in January. As of right now our egg retrieval is scheduled for January 24th. I start birth control pills on Sunday this week and will probably start my meds the week of Jan 5th. Slow and steady this time. We'll probably get fewer eggs, but they should be better quality and hopefully I won't hyper stimulate and end up in the hospital this time. Which means we'll be able to do the live transfer, not only a frozen one!! This is very exciting.... we could have a 2009 baby/babies!

Because We're Sisters

Growing up my sister and I were best friends and worst enemies. I'm sure our parents will tell you that this often occurred in the same day. No matter how even things were divided between us we were always trying to out do the other. When one of us got into trouble we always tried to put the blame on the other.

We argued over the dumbest things, which cartoon we would watch (Scooby Do or He-Man), what book we wanted mom or dad to read before bedtime, what record, tape or CD we would listen to, who got to sit in the front seat of the car, if we were allowed to use the towels in the bathroom or not, who's turn it was to do the dishes, who got which parking space in the drive way, who got to answer the phone when it rang, who's razor was who's, who's clothes were who's, and so on. What can I say, we were sisters.

Those around us the most would tell you that I was the quieter one and she was the out spoken one. In many ways this still rings true. So you can imagine my surprise when she told me what she had done.

I got a phone call one morning while getting ready for work. She tells me that she has written a letter and is sending it out, she wasn't going to tell me, but she couldn't get everything set up the way she wanted without me knowing. Before telling me what it was all about she reads me a letter that she had heartfeltly written to all our family members and friends about our struggles to have children, asking one and all to help us gather the money needed to try IVF again.

I can tell you that it was a good thing I hadn't put on any eye make-up yet because it would've been washed off. I must've cried for five minutes straight. After which I had a hard time finding my voice, I could not believe she would do something like this. Furthermore, I could not believe that she had already shared her idea with several people all of which were more that willing to help.

To this day I am still amazed by the generosity everyone has shown. I never would've imagined something like this would've happened. It has been less than a month since the account was opened and it is already growing at a steady rate.

With this post I want to say thank you to each and everyone of you. For we have always known we were loved, however I cannot even put into words how humbled we are that you care so much about us. We are truly blessed to have family and friends who love us so much that they are willing to help us fulfil our dreams of one day holding our precious little miracle in our arms.

Last but not least, thank you to my sister. Without you, our next round would not even be thought about for a long time to come.

Follow up dr appt.

Not much has been going on around here. The store has been slow, which was good for me. I needed to have some time to clear my head. It has picked up a little bit this week and we're gearing up for a busy weekend. Our neighboring store is having a big Memorial Day Sale, like always. We'll take advantage of their advertising and highlight our clearance items and put some smaller items out on the sidewalk to draw some attention our way.

I had an appointment with the fertility doctor yesterday. He thinks the PCOS I have is causing some egg quality issues considering they were able to get 20 eggs but very few quality ones. He had me start another diabetic medication that helps increase egg quality in women with PCOS. It can cause liver issues though, so they only give it to women who have more difficult cases. I guess we now fall into that category. They'll check my liver functions every 3 months to make sure it isn't causing me any problems, though. It takes 3 to 4 months for it to actually improve the egg quality so, he wants me on it until we are ready to try another IVF.

As I mentioned before I was having quite a bit of cramping after the transfer. He said this was very good news and shows that at least one of the embryos did hatch and implant. He said my lining was really good and that the transfer couldn't have gone any smoother. He is confident that getting better quality eggs is the answer for us.

I told him I was a little concerned of hyper-stimulating again. He said that in my case it was a big surprise because even though my estrogen numbers were a little higher than they liked to see, they weren't so high as to cause any concern of hyper-stimulation. Also, most women don't get sick like I did until after they get pregnant. I will be on the same medications (so the crazy sayings will start all over again, ha. ha.) but a lower dosage, and I will probably take them for a longer period of time. All of this is supposed to support better egg quality as well. All in all, I would say it was a good appointment.

I hope everyone has a fun and safe Memorial Day Weekend.

Test Results.

Well, our little snow peas didn't make it.

I had a blood test on Friday that showed hCG (the pregnancy hormone that comes after implantation) at level of 25. So at least one of our little embryos implanted.

Today I had a second blood test to make sure the hCG levels were still going up. We needed a level of 75 to confirm they were still growing and developing.

Sadly, the level went down to 15. Which means it stopped growing. So now I stop all the medications and wait for it to pass.

Waiting… waiting… and waiting some more.

Our final blood test is on Monday. This will tell us if we’ve been successful this month or not. Only 1 day left.

I was actually very calm and relaxed all week. Then Friday came around, and now I’m nervous. This has been such a long road. I’m not sure I can imagine it ending. Yet, at the same time, I can’t imagine it not ending. One thing is for sure, I am ready to be moving on to the next phase in our lives.

I’ve had quite a bit of cramping this week. Rachelle has been my research queen this week. She looked it up and found quite a few people saying that cramping is good, but headaches are bad. Good news, I haven’t had any headaches.

I hope all the Mom’s have a wonderful Mother’s Day!!

Our First Pictures

Everything is going great! We couldn't be more excited or more optimistic! Both our little snow peas thawed out perfectly. Here is a picture of them.

It turns out that they weren't thawed until the morning of our transfer because our appointment was so late in the morning. This picture was taken about 2 hours before the transfer.

The bigger one is the one that was perfect before freezing. By this time, it had done exactly what they expected it to and was in the process of re-aligning it's self. Meaning that all the cells in the middle were moving around to the outside.

But it looks like we have some sibling rivalry going on already. The smaller one did everything it was supposed to do, and has already re-aligned it's cells and was already growing trying to catch up with the bigger one. The embryologist was very happy about this. Because the small one was doing so good, they upped our odds from 40% to 50%!

We also have a picture of the actual transfer:

The big black spot is my bladder (I had to drink a lot of water to get it to just the right size).

In the green squares you can see the tube they used to transfer the embryos.

You can't see the embryos because they are microscopic, so the lab puts an air bubble behind them which you can see. That is what I put the red circle around. The embryos are very sticky so they like to make sure the air bubble moves out very slow, which it did. This tells them that the embryos are very close to where the air bubble shows up. This was a perfect transfer!

Now we wait for a blood test to confirm implantation.

It's Time

I can't believe it is here. Tomorrow morning I will be 2 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

I'm excited, I'm nervous and I'm trying to be very optimistic. Even if this doesn't work, at least I will have two weeks with our little snow peas.

I am taking the rest of the week off to lounge around the house. Next week I'll take it easy. I've been transitioning myself into not lifting anything heavy. Sometimes that's difficult around here, but I will have to stop all heavy lifting now. One of our employees said he's not even going to let me lift the stapler! It's pretty funny, but he's right. We've come this far, we don't want to take any chances.

I need to get a new modem for the home computer, so unless I get that done before our appointment tomorrow, I won't be able to get back on the Internet until I come back to work. We'll update you guys as soon as we can.

We love all the comments you've been leaving and feel very blessed to have such wonderful family and friends. Thank you for your love and prayers! We love you guys!

Tuesday is Thaw Day.

Tomorrow is a big day for our little snow peas.

They'll be thawed naturally until they come to room temperature, then dipped in four solutions to remove any of the solution used during freezing. Then they will slowly be warmed up to body temperature.

We are continuing to pray that they both survive this process and will be there waiting for us on Wednesday morning.

Good report.

I had another ultrasound this morning, and everything looks good.

They like too see the lining over 8mm, and mine was at 11mm. So we are set for the transfer next Wednesday.

Craziness!

I thought my craziness was due to the hormones I was taking to make me produce more eggs. Now I'm thinking it must have been my body's response to the increase in estrogen because I'm still saying the craziest things. Here are just a few:

Craig fell asleep on the stove last night. (should have said sofa)
Dinner has to go in the hour for an oven.
I can't watch bed in TV without my glasses.
Can you give this form to Brown? (should have said Robert)

If this is truly a response to hormone changes and I do get pregnant, it should be an interesting and entertaining 9 months.

It's a go!!

I had my ultrasound this morning. My ovaries are still a little large, but not enough to cause any problems.

So I started estrogen supplements this morning. I'm taking them in the mornings and at night. Then Craig will start giving me the progesterone shots on the 25th.

For right now we are praying for my lining to become thick and healthy, and for both of our snow peas to survive the thawing process. We'll think about the rest later. Just one step at a time right now.

We have a date.

I'm feeling good and completely back to normal. I even lost the 5 pounds I gained from the fertility medications. I started back on birth control pills this week. Its so strange to think I have to take birth control pills to get pregnant.

The fertility clinic set up a protocol for our frozen embryo transfer, or FET. I'll have an ultrasound on April 11th to check on my ovaries. If everything looks good, we'll do the transfer on April 30th. I won't have to do all the medications this time around. Just some estrogen supplements to thicken my lining and progesterone to keep my body from shedding the lining and our little embryos.

Now we just need to decide if we're going to transfer both of our little peas or only one now and another later.

Hospital...

Well, I didn't make it into the dr's office Thursday morning. Instead, I ended up in the hospital.

About 3am my back was starting to hurt me, so I decided to go lay on the couch so I wouldn't wake up Craig by tossing and turning. After I got up and started moving around, I started to feel really sick and ended up getting dry heaves.

Craig got up to come and check on me and paged Dr. Huchison. He called us back immediately. I felt really bad calling him so early in the morning, but it was a good thing I did. He wanted me to go to St. Joseph's Hospital to be put on IV Fluids and be seen by a radiologist who could drain the fluid that was collecting in my abdomen.

Once in the Emergency Room, they took some information and brought me back to a room. Just that little bit of walking made me sick again. They started an IV and took some blood. By this time, it was about 4:30am. At about 6am the doctor came in and told us that they would be admitting me to the hospital. There weren't any rooms available so I would have to wait in my room at the emergency room until they had space for me.

They took me down to radiology once they opened and ended up draining 3 liters of fluid from my abdomen.

I was finally taken to a room at about 2pm. Craig called my Mom then and she came down to Tucson to stay with me while Craig went to our store to get things taken care of there then went home to get some sleep.

Mom went home that evening when I started to fall asleep so she could get things taken care of on her end then came back the next morning. She stayed the rest of the week with me which was a huge relief for both Craig and I. Thank you so much Mom.

I was taken back to radiology the next two days and had another 3 liters drained each day. The fourth day they didn't see much fluid so they didn't drain anything. The next day, there wasn't much fluid in my abdomen but the radiologist saw some fluid in my lung cavities. They could only drain one a day, so they drained my right one because it had the most fluid.

After that it was just a matter waiting for my body to stop holding onto fluids. I was released from the hospital on the 12th and was back to work on the 14th.

Of the 8 eggs that fertilized, only 2 continued to grow. They were able to freeze those two embryos, which they'll transfer at a later date. I'll start birth control pills at the beginning of my next cycle then I'll have an ultrasound to see if my ovaries have gone back down to size.

Heading back to the dr tomorrow.

I stayed home from work today because I'm not feeling very good. My abdomen is very bloated and I'm pretty uncomfortable when I stand. I mentioned this to the dr's office yesterday, and they told me to eat broths with lots of sodium and drink V8 Juice.

When Craig got home tonight he wasn't happy that I didn't call them today. So I called the embryologist on her cell phone this evening. She wants me to come into the office in the morning so they can take a look at me. She thinks I might be starting to hyper-stimulate.

I feel better when I'm laying down, so hopefully I'll be better by morning.

Fertilization Report

We got good news from the dr's office today! Of the 20 eggs they retrieved, 14 were mature and 8 of those fertilized. So right now we have 8 little babies growing!

I'm really bloated today and moving pretty slow. Craig is going to let me leave early tonight and get some rest.

Retrieval Day!!

The egg retrieval went well today. They were able to get 20 eggs! We'll get a fertilization report tomorrow or Wednesday. The dr said that most of the larger follicles on my right ovary didn't have any eggs in them. The big surprise what how many eggs were on my left ovary that couldn't be seen by the ultrasound.

All my bloating went away right after the retrieval, but has come back this evening. I'm being good about my 24 hours of bed rest. So far I've only gotten up to get food and go to the bathroom. I can go to work tomorrow, but I'll probably go in a couple hours late so I'll have given it a full 24 hours.

Craig did a good job of giving me my trigger shot on Saturday. For some reason, he's decided to video tape him giving me the shots. Since they are given in the back part of the hip, and I don't want my naked butt plastered on the Internet, we won't be sharing the videos.

He had to give me another shot this morning while I was in the recovery room. The nurse showed him everything he needed to do. Now he's actually excited about giving them to me. I like that he feels more involved in the process.

Final Monitoring Appointment

I had my last ultrasound this morning. I had 8 follicles left and 16 on the right. My retrieval is set for 8:45am on Monday. My estrogen was still higher than they like, so they dropped my follistim to 75iu for the last injection tonight. Tomorrow night Craig will have to give me a shot in my hip to trigger the follicles to mature.

The dr is expecting to get a large number of eggs, so right now they are planning on doing the embryo transfer on Saturday.

2nd Monitoring Appointment

The injections continue to go well. I'm still very nauseous. I'm told that's because my estrogen levels are rising because of all the follicles I have. Unfortunately, that's also a sign that I'm sensitive to estrogen changes. Which means I have a good chance of being very sick during pregnancy due to constantly changing estrogen levels. Lucky me! At least that will be forgotten once I'm holding our little miracle in my arms.

At my ultrasound this morning the dr measured 8 follicles on the left and 8 on the right. There were more on the right, but he only measured the largest ones. My estrogen levels came back even higher today, so they have me lowering my dosage to 150iu tonight and tomorrow night. I will go back for another check on Friday.

1st Monitoring

The injections have been going well. I've been taking 225iu of Follistim every night. Craig didn't want to watch at first. He was doing the dishes while I gave myself the injection. He's feeling more comfortable now. Which is a huge relief to me because he will have to give me shots of progesterone in the rear after the retrieval.

I can tell that the hormones are starting to effect me. I've been pretty nauseous and my brain isn't working as clearly as it normally does. Of course, I could just chalk it up to being blond. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I had my first monitoring ultrasound and blood check done today. My estrogen levels were a little high, but not enough to cause any alarm. So my dosage will stay the same tonight and tomorrow, but the dr. wants me to go back in on Wednesday for another ultrasound.

I have 6 follicles on the left and 16 on the right. Just to give you an idea of how cloudy my brain has been, I didn't even realize that have 6 on one side and 16 on the other meant that I had 22 follicles until a friend pointed it out to me! (Thanks Kelly!!)